Monday, May 26, 2008

Indulge me

I'm poetically handicapped. Totally so! Having 5 poets in the family doesn't help, but I'm indulging a recent urge to try my hand at it. Apologies for subjecting you to this, but here goes anyway...
Critique invited. Biting critique welcome as well.

The mind wants Peace
Not fragmented pieces
No conflict, but unity
Ah… my mind eases...

Mann chaahe shaanti
Na ki tukde toote toote
Sangharsh nahin, Ekagrata!
Aah… yeh mera mann loote...!

I would've liked to do an Urdu version, but unfortunately my Urdu is about as good as a dog's meow.
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2 comments:

  1. Utopianthots28 May, 2008 11:22

    The thought is nice, but seems a lil abrupt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1conoclast28 May, 2008 13:41

    Utopianthots,

    My disclaimer should tell you how bad I am at this...

    Are you any good at poetry?

    ReplyDelete

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